In today’s final post in our Slowjamastan series, we get treated to some of the lore that accompanies the micronation of Slowjamastan. Even though this creation by radio programmer Randy Williams/R Dub!/the Sultan is just a few years old, it has already racked up some amazing stories, a few of which I’ll share with you today. 

Most of us in radio learned all about “theater of the mind” back in our formative years—that you paint pictures over the airwaves with your words. But how many of us get the chance—or take the chance—to do just that? R Dub! has and does. And the success he’s achieved along the way with starting up his own syndicated radio show, launching his micronation, and as a successful program director gives him the confidence to take a swing at new ventures—even though he realizes that some of those attempts will be swings and misses.

R Dub! has also learned an important radio skill that many give lip service to, but few do exceptionally well: storytelling. It is part of what Randy does 24/7 with Slowjamastan. And I wanted to give you a taste of that, because it’s those legendary stories that get passed down from one listener—or “citizen”—to another. 

So, for this last post, it’s two totally “theater of the mind’ stories and a look behind-the-scenes at a new (ad)venture of Slowjamastan.  

Story #1 takes place at an inauspicious place: traffic court. 

R Dub!: One of my favorite moments in Slowjamastan history was fighting a parking ticket as the Sultan. Here’s what happened: They gave my Sultan police car a ticket, and I felt it was unwarranted. So I contested it. You have to do it in writing. I used our Slowjamastan stationery and our embosser and our official stamp.

And all the text that I wrote is all spoken in this exaggerated classic Soviet propaganda. And I talk about this as a diplomatic, international incident: “How dare you do this to the Sultan!”

I’m wondering, the people that are opening up the letter at the city office, like what are they thinking? They must be either heavily perplexed or howling, one of the two.

So, finally I showed up in court in full uniform. We pull up to the courthouse and now I’m just wondering, am I going to be held in contempt of court?

And the moment we arrive in the courthouse with those tinted windows, and as we walk to the courthouse, here comes the police officers. They are the court-appointed county sheriffs—real police.

And they said, “Sultan, you’ll be happy to know we’ve checked the building. We’ve screened the building for Crocs. It’s a 100% Croc-free zone.

That was when I knew, okay, we’re going to have some fun.

And so we go to traffic court and we’re sitting on the benches listening to all the other cases before ours. Again, I’m in full uniform. I’ve got two Secret Service agents in the back of the courtroom standing in their black suits and their earpieces.

I get up to the podium, and now it’s my turn. And again, I’m in full Qaddafi drag. The judge does his 90-second spiel, explaining to me how the process works.

And he says, “Okay, you may begin.”

So, I’m at the podium, and my very first sentence was, “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury…” And he goes, “I’m going to stop you right here. There’s no jury. This is traffic court.”

And I pause and I turn to our 40 citizens that are there to support me. And I say, “Well, who are these people then?”

And the bailiff and the court stenographer…coffee shot out of their noses.

It was one of the most fun experiences of my life.

FJ: You beat the ticket?

R Dub!: Yup, we beat the ticket.

So, we’re here to spread joy, peace, and laugh. Even down to a courtroom reporter in traffic court who might be in a boring job, just recording traffic cases over and over—maybe finally gets to have a little laugh or gets to have something different in her life.

Being able to provide that to people, it’s the most rewarding thing ever.

You can check out the Sultan’s POV on this court experience here.  

Story #2 is a tale of international intrigue that might have turned into an international incident.

R Dub!: So, here’s another story. Before the NATO conference which was in 2024, I was in Belgium in 2022. I landed in Brussels, and I went on TripAdvisor to look for things to do, and it said that NATO headquarters are here. Let’s go.

So I put my Sultan uniform on, drove into NATO headquarters.

I told the guy at the security gate at parking that I had an appointment, and he believed me.

I got all the way into NATO. I’m about to go through the metal detector. All my change and my watch are put to the side.

And as I’m walking through the metal detector, security comes rushing out.

They’re like, “You’ve got to get out of here.”

They followed me all the way out to the car. They basically saw me out and they were very stern. They did not crack a smile.

And I said, “Okay, at least I got halfway in.”

But three years later, I got an e-mail from the security guard that escorted me out. He said, “Look, I couldn’t send you an e-mail until now because I was working (for NATO) this whole time. I’m no longer working for them anymore.

And he says, “That was one of the most fun days of my life. Thank you for making us smile. That was incredible. Can you please send me an 8×10?”

So I sent it to him. It is all about giving the gift of fun.

In R Dub!’s micronation of Slowjamastan, there is always something fun, interesting, and new coming next. Like programming a great radio station, having that next project or promotion ready to go speaks to keeping the momentum and “new citizen signups” (that is, new cume) going.

Here’s what’s next:

R Dub!: One of my dreams is to do a TV show based on Slowjamastan. I think there’s a lot there. We’ve had three very serious producers spend a lot of time kicking tires. We’ve spent a lot of time talking to producers.

Nothing’s materialized yet. So we realized, let’s just do it on our own. So we filmed 10 episodes and we will launch Greetings from Slowjamastan this summer on YouTube. We’re doing the TV show for fun. It’s not going to be a moneymaker, it’s on YouTube, but it’s something that I wanted to do.

It’s something that I wanted to have the experience doing: learn, fail, edit, make better.

So, we’ll have 10 episodes. They’re short—between 5:00 and  14:00 minutes each.

Here’s a teaser that just came out:

And finally, the Slowjamastan “business model.” Like many aspects of R Dub!’s micronation, the merch program and monetary policy has been somewhat seat of the pants. But Randy is learning how to make it pay off:

R Dub!: There is a business model, but it wasn’t by design. It was a little bit like when I started the Slow Jam show. I did it 100% for fun and 0% because I thought I could ever make any money. In fact, in the beginning of Slowjamastan, one could argue that this was the biggest financial disaster of my entire life.

Things are expensive: signs, concrete, web development, etc. I spent a lot of my personal hard-earned money on Slowjamastan, but I did it because I loved it. Saying it has turned into something profitable is pretty generous, but let’s just say we’re in the black.

I remember the very first viral YouTube video that happened. It wasn’t mine. It was a blogger who went out to Slowjamastan and all of a sudden on my website, I started getting thousands and thousands of hits simultaneously.

And I quickly thought, “My God, I need merch!” I literally went to a T-shirt design program, and put a photo up of a T-shirt that I didn’t even have yet. Slowjamastan shirts, $20. And I sold hundreds of them.

That was the beginning of thinking, “Wait, people actually like us.” And they like our stuff.

We do have a few different business models. One of them is Patreon, which is a work in progress. We’re still learning how to how to make that work. It’s very interesting and we’ve learned a lot and we’re still learning. But our merch does very well.

Like the Slowjamastan passport.

FJ: Yeah, I saw that on one of the videos. Very impressive. Who designed that for you?

R Dub!: I found some guys on Fiverr to design each page and each page has different photos. A U.S. passport will have quotes from the founding fathers. Our quotes are from ’90s hip-hop artists, from, for example, Bel Biv DeVoe: “Never trust a big butt and a smile.”

We also sell collector currency sets, the shirts, the bumper stickers, and we just released the all-in-one driving and fishing license. We believe in less bureaucracy in Slowjamastan and less paperwork. There’s even a mag stripe back there and a hologram.

The passport, by the way, has been stamped in over 20 different nations around the world. We have stamps like New Zealand, I think Zambia and Zimbabwe are in this thing.

Over the past couple days of Slowjamastan posts, I’ve been asked how Randy Williams has the time to run a micronation while programming two radio stations. To what effect has the Slowjamastan had on his skills and mindset?

R Dub!: Has it made me a better program director? You know, I think it’s given me a boost of confidence to try new things even out-of-the-box at the radio station and they haven’t all been successes.

It does give you more confidence to say, “Wait a minute, if I can turn a plot of dirt into something, I have a transmitter at my disposal, I have a staff, I have imaging and a team and a voice guy and a music library and clients willing to come in and do things.  So it’s definitely given me a boost of confidence and a little bravado—not cockiness, but a little bit of a kick in the ass to say, “Hey, you know what? Some things don’t require a budget. It’s easy to say, ‘Well, they don’t give us anything around here.'” If you can make something out of dirt and you have a whole transmitter behind you, you can now with the help of AI, to not replace, but to help you do things and write scripts and be creative. It’s put some new wind in my sails, so absolutely 100%.

And I will tell you—here’s a sidebar. My owner/GM was not the happiest when he realized I turned my programming office into the official American consulate of Slowjamastan. But he’s come to love it because clients that take tours of the radio station, this is their last stop and they honestly, genuinely love it and they buy into it.”

Quite the story. If this series on R Dub!’s Slowjamastan has inspired you in any way, let me know in the “Comments” below or on my socials.

You can access the first two posts below:

“Welcome to Slowjamastan”

“Slowjamastan’s 10 Lessons For Building A Great Radio Brand” 

The Slowjamastan website

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Fred Jacobs

President & Founder at Jacobs Media

Fred Jacobs founded Jacobs Media in 1983, and quickly became known for the creation of the Classic Rock radio format.

Jacobs Media has consistently walked the walk in the digital space, providing insights and guidance through its well-read national Techsurveys.

In 2008, jacapps was launched - a mobile apps company that has designed and built more than 1,300 apps for both the Apple and Android platforms. In 2013, the DASH Conference was created - a mashup of radio and automotive, designed to foster better understanding of the "connected car" and its impact.

Along with providing the creative and intellectual direction for the company, Fred consults many of Jacobs Media's commercial and public radio clients, in addition to media brands looking to thrive in the rapidly changing tech environment.

Fred was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame in 2018.

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